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- Rob Kelly
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
When You Can't Turn It Off
Rr

You wake up and it's already there - that familiar hum of something not quite right. Your mind immediately starts scanning: What needs attention today? What could go wrong? What needs to be solved?
Some days you feel light. Present. Capable. Everything flows and you wonder why it can't always be like this.
Other days, everything feels heavy. Like you're moving through water. Your body is tired even though you slept. Your mind won't settle. And you find yourself working harder just to feel normal.
You've spent years trying to figure out what makes the difference. You've analyzed your routines, your preparation, your mindset. You've read the books, tried the techniques, done the work. Sometimes they help. But they don't explain why some days you have access to your best and other days you don't.
Here's what you might not realize: you're not responding to actual problems. You're responding to a program running in the background.
Somewhere, long ago, your nervous system learned that constant vigilance keeps you safe. That scanning for threats is necessary. That you can't fully trust things to be okay unless you're monitoring, analyzing, controlling.
It made sense then. It protected something important.
But now? That same pattern is exhausting you.
The trap is believing the constant fixing is actually helping. You wake up and scan your body - does it feel right today? You analyze yesterday's performance - what went wrong? You prepare obsessively for what's coming - what could go wrong? It feels productive. It feels like you're doing something to improve, to protect yourself, to get better.
But here's the truth: the solving itself is the problem.
Your conscious mind tries endlessly to solve what your subconscious keeps generating. "Something feels off - what is it? How do I fix it?" You work on your technique. You adjust your preparation. You try different mental strategies. And for a while, it seems to help. Until it doesn't. Because there's always something else to solve.
In performance contexts, this shows up as:
Waking up on competition day scanning your body to see if you "have it" today.
Developing safer, more controlled versions of your natural technique to protect against the threat your nervous system is generating.
Brilliant performances in training that you can't consistently replicate when it matters.
The sense that you're fighting yourself even as you're trying to perform.
Exhaustion that doesn't match the actual physical demands.
Always preparing for the next thing rather than being present in this thing.
You've built compensatory strategies. Safer versions of yourself. Ways of performing and relating that protect you from full exposure. They work well enough that you've been successful. But there's always this sense that something is being held back. That you're capable of more but can't consistently access it.
The heaviness you feel isn't laziness or lack of discipline. It's chronic activation. Your nervous system running a protection program that never switches off. And the exhaustion isn't from the work itself - it's from fighting yourself while you work.
You reach a point where you start to question it.
All this analyzing, all this solving, all this trying to fix yourself - is it actually helping? Or is it the very thing keeping you trapped? Because no matter how much you work on it, there always seems to be something else to solve.
You're not broken. You're not lacking anything. Your nervous system simply learned something that no longer serves you. And patterns that were learned can be unlearned.
When that foundational pattern shifts, everything shifts. Not just your performance, but how you experience being alive. The constant vigilance quiets. The heaviness lifts. You find yourself more present in moments that matter. Life requires less effort.
That's not about trying harder or learning better strategies. It's about teaching your nervous system something new about what's safe.
If you recognize yourself in this, you're not alone. And there's a specific way to work with this at the level where it actually lives.
I specialize in helping elite performers identify and shift the nervous system patterns that override natural ability. If you're experiencing the inconsistency and exhaustion described here, let's talk about what's actually possible when that interference is removed.




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